Persistence and rejection

Question:

So I've tried asking this girl out multiple times but she always says no, how do I make her say yes? - Loveless

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Answer:

Dear Loveless,

I understand that it can be heartbreaking to get a no from someone you have asked out. Movies would have us believe that one must be persistent in order to make them say yes. This is quite frankly disgusting, dangerous and an archaic notion. It's the worst thing one can do.

When someone says no, they mean it... There is no chase, persistence nor grand display of affection that will change their answer - rather the opposite, this will only prove to them that saying no was the right decision.

If you keep on going like this, there are possible legal ramifications for your actions. In other words: STOP THIS BEHAVIOR IMMEDIATELY!

As a society we must realize that when someone doesn't want to go out with you, it means just that - they don't want to go out with you. No one has to give anyone "a chance" when it comes to relationships and romance. Being persistent in asking the same person out time and time again is not a virtue - it is the opposite, it's a dangerous behavior.

What you have to ask yourself is, "Why do I want to date someone who clearly doesn't want to date me?". Do not ask the person why they don't want to go out with you - a simple no is enough.

Persistence is not the key to love - respect and boundaries are.

Warm regards,

Sylvia